Take it easy and relax.

True to the statement, I had made the routines of mine and the kids so perfect that it started to show imperfections in behavior.

Morning time (be it holiday or weekend or work day)< get up, its time - 6:30 AM already (to the kids). (In my mind - need to make breakfast, feed and again, go to kitchen, cook lunch.. bllah blah..)

Time to sit for some structured play time ( my mind again). OK come kids lets play some puzzles, blah blah...

Ok now time for lunch .... rush rush gulp gulp feed feed .. now come on we have to take our after noon nap.

The new place i moved in has given me great vibes. Nevertheless, got them disciplined before, so this new home needed not much og nagging or was it just me.

Damn, I am glad i disicplined, they know what they are expected. I dont do the same things any more, and dont rush anymore, thanks new home!

I am a learning mom, trying to be responsible for all the things that my kids are doing, but now at the end of 4.5 yrs of raising them, i have realized, my mind burst and opened for a new beginning. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE for MY KIDS actions. Yes thats true.

I am just going to be a RESPONSIBLE TOWARDS them, yes, I am. Which means, they are human beings and I am a mother, but they are still human beings with the mind of their own.

I have relaxed, calmed, and dont rush and dont push.

I am not achieving to be a super mom, I dont compulsarily have puzzle time with them (Oh how I hate it when I have to make them play what I want to play - its a total disaster).

All I do is now read books, have my space and give them my space and be a responsible parent.

"Self" - I yell," please help me continue with this " " and work towards being a calmer me"

"SELF" I yell louder, please help me focus on myself and practice what I preach and avoid "Reactive Behaviors". Until now my mind was not lit clearly, until I was struck by guilt that MY SCREAMING and IGnoRIng" and other reactives were only teaching the same to my child, when I did not want the same form them.

"Self" be with me.