Saturday, July 23, 2005

Siddhant's move to a 2 Bedroom Apartment

This move was for Siddhant. We felt his requirement for more space and so we moved on july 17th 2005. The move was easy and so was the settlement. During the move Siddhant stayed very well with our friends and was enjoying so many people around him. Also he was quite perplexed as to where the furniture etc were being taken.

Anyway, I had not firmly thought about giving Siddhant his own room. But, the day of the move, i asked friends to assemble the crib in his new room. The way rutvik and I had to move around the room while he was sleeping, tip toing, making no noice, making sure we get into our bed without making any noice. All that, i wanted a break from. So the move to his own room really made sense.

So that afternoon, i put Siddhant for his afternoon nap in his new room and he did great. I think the reason was i had already trained him to sleep on his own and so the new room did not make a difference. Ofcourse he felt the difference when he got up at 7 in the morning, he just screamed for us (did not cry), but just a loud calling. And the momemt we went there he was smiling. It was a great feeling, he did great. Then the next couple of days he began to get familiar with the entire house, crawling all over the place - from one room to another. Now, within a week he is very fine and knows that he has his own room.

I am so happy, he has adjusted so well. Things are happening as if Siddhant is telling us " yes mumma and pappa, i am ready to sleep in my own room and all alone by myself". Its amazing!!

This ability to put himself to sleep and sleep by himself is going to give him the capabily to cope better with his life and deal with his emotions. In other words it's a starting piont where he is begginning to handle the independence that has been given to him.

Apart from moving him to his own room, his has been enjoying crawling to our bedroom and trying hard to climb onto the bed with a few successfull attempts.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Putting him to sleep on his own

Well, Siddhant is now 9 months. It's been a while since i have written and lot has happened since then and also the motherhood is falling into place.

Siddhant has been growing up very fast and is responding to us and plays with us and understands us. This has been the turning point,we being to understand his cues, has made life so much easier.

I bought a couple of books on parenting, after my friend who is doing Phd in Child Development recommended them to me.

1. Raising an emotionally intelligent child
2. How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk
3. Discipline the brazelleton way.

I have begun to read these books and i have begun to apply some of the principles. Though siddhant is still young, i am hoping this will be a good practice session of how i can talk to my child and understand his phsycology.

Being a strong advocate of breastfeeding, i stopped feeding him by the time he turned 9. He started cutting his teeth and that started distracting him to do everything else but drink milk. So that done, gave me a lot more energy, my hormone levels were coming back into place and my emotions were getting back to normal.

My next step was to start thinking of getting him to sleep on his own. All the while i used to stand by the crib and pat him to sleep, which over time was stressing my entire back. At the 9th month doc's appointment, i asked him, how can i get him to sleep on his own. All he said was, just put him down and get out of the room.

Could that be so easy? So many books were written on sleep schedules etc, and this is all i have to do. Well, it was indeed. I already had Siddhant on a schedule, like giving him a bath, reading 2 books, and giving him his night milk and say " Good night Siddhant, good night mumma, good nite puppa, ratri time, sleeping time, good night" And i used to pat him. And now, all i did was, did all the above, put him in bed and have him a elephant soft toy to hold and leave the room. Believe it or not, he wood talk to the toy about 5 - 10 minutes and would go off to sleep. Ofcourse there are days, he would keep getting up and stand holding onto the crib rail and would not want to go to bed, all i would do was put him back down and walk away. Eventualy he would go to sleep.

I think there is just a time and age for everything. The child should be able to understand what his parents are trying to tell him. And Siddhant understood all the was being told to him for going to sleep and he knew, that means shut eye for 9-10 hours. So it became really easy to put him to sleep on his own. He knew his routine.

This ofcourse will not hold good for parents, whose kids go to sleep in the same bed as their parents,, as this would mean, they require their parents to sleep along with them. Which is ok too, as generations of parents have been doing that and thats very nice.

Amazingly, whenever i thought of applying some routine/discipline, siddhant has cooperated. I keep thinking is it him or is it me. Now i think its both of us. He has it in his genes to cooperate i guess :)

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Rough period as a mother

Siddhant is 6.5 months old now. Getting naughtier, rather more active by the day and requires constant activity. He is such a curious child. Constantly on the move and always looking to see what new stuff his parents are upto or are new in his surroundings.

My father passed away on April 2nd 2005 in India. Sad i could not go, with my little hero, i felt it would be very difficult handling him. Instead i went to Houston, TX where i have family and spent a week there.

I had just started solid feeding about 3-4 weeks back and soon went to Houston for a week. Also had just managed to make siddhant sleep through the entire night from 8pm-5:30am. Going to Houston added more stress on me trying to feed him solids (as i make them at home and dont give him the outside gerber stuff). His sleep at night got little disrupted and kept waking up at new place. Something i expected, as he slept with me and not in his crib.

When new developmental phases are going on, avoid travelling. This is not only going help you (the mother) be sane, but also for the child to get used to the routine. He was eating solids as if he had been eating them all his life and after going to Houston, he behaved as if he detested them. I guess it was just a phase, or a new place. Handling him in a new place caused little stress to me. Constantly wondering how people are going to judge my mothering skills. Since my cousin had a 2.5 year old daughter and she was really spoken well about her mothering skills by everyone, got me more anxious.

The trip basically taught me a lesson. That when travelling, or any other time, one should try to stay calm and not be too anxious. And one has to stop comparing oneself with other mothers. Every mother has a different way of bringing up her child and also every child is different (being born with different genes).

Americans have a way with travelling with children and that too with multiples. I really wonder how!! May be because they dont care too much about a routine, what their child eats, bottle feeding, a binky on most of the time to stop them from crying. If you are not one among that clan, like me, then face facts, travelling for leisure with a child, will not be leisure.

Ofcourse, Siddhant had a good time otherwise, very social, enjoyed with his aunts and cousins and smiling and playing away to glory. Did not bother him, that he was travelling in the flight and in a new place altogether. He was simply having fun noticing all the fun stuff going on around him. I sure can see he loves to be around people. Surely a social and fun being.

The toll only takes on the new parents and more on me since i am nursing and trying to get so many phases of developments happen smoothly. Well ofcourse, it has also taught me that i should not be too rigid on myself, and let developments happen at their own pace and not push myself too hard or Siddhant too hard.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

India Trip - travelling long distance with Siddhant

25 days long vacation, with siddhant and to india, with a flight travel of 24 hrs? Yes you got it!

First, travelling with siddhant was not difficult, he was such a well behaved kid, never cried at take off and landings. The only difficulty i had was yes nursing him in the flight. There was so little space, I had to nurse an overly active boy, who wanted to look all around him and still nurse.

You would think that a 4 month old boy who sleeps, 14-15 hours a day woud not face a jet lag. Really? Ofcourse he had one and it last for 1 whole week, where he would start playing at around 2-3 in the night, when all we wanted to do was sleep. But well, that whole week, neither ruts nor i got to sleep (day nor night).

In the midst we had a wedding in the family and that added to the more strain, though siddhant and i did not attend most of the fucntions.

The social character, yes Siddhant, had fun with everyone around him. Enjoyed the company of the many grand uncles and aunts and cousins and not to miss out the maid at home and ofcourse his grandparents. Not a bit of stranger anxiety.

Oh, have to mention. Siddhant lived like a true indian (coming from the americas). Going out to the mall, walking down the street, playing on the floor and creeping all around the room he was layed in. The only thing american he did was to drink mineral water. Apart from that, we had not taken any precautions. He stayed healthy, without falling sick and built up his immune system.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The first 3 months

No wonder they "mothers and grandmothers" say that one needs atleast 40 days of rest before you can be up and working. And no wonder the girls go away to the mother's place for delivery. Wee need that rest!

Staying in the US, we wanted to stay back here and take advantage of the top hospital care etc. So, instead of me going to mom's thats india, mom came here to help me out the last month and the months after delivery. Beleive me, those days of help cant be forgotten.

Though personally i was up and active after a few days of delivery and wanted to be as active as possible. I was fine, recovered very fast et all, the sleepless nights were all OK, and did not seem to bother much until after the first month. It was only after that things were taking a toll. The routine of feeding siddhant, giving him a bath, putting him back to sleep, feeding, playing etc..and not to miss out the 10-12 diaper changes that have to be done. And newborns poop at night too, so in the middle of sleep to wash his poop, was no doubt exhausting.

After so much work, the lack of sleep started to take a toll, i wanted to sleep whenever i had the chance. Always hoping Siddhant would sleep for a long period of time. But it was not in my hands. The newborns apparently dont have any schedule, they wake up hungry, you feed them, then play a little bit and go back to sleep. So basically, he was up for an hour or so, then off to sleep for half an hour or if i am lucky more.

I guess my fast recovery was due to my yoga practice before, during and after pregnancy. I have continued it, though at some point i just wanted to sleep instead of getting some exercise.

Mom left when siddhant was 2 months old. I missed her, but was glad to get back to my routine and set a schedule for the entire family. And let me tell you, setting schedules with a newborn almost never goes according to schedule. The moment you think he is on a schedule, his routine is changing as he is going through a growth spurt :) and his schedule goes for a "sixer" (cricket terminology).

As such rutvik and i are very lucky. Siddhant was never troublesome and he slept through the night from the time he was born. Ofcourse just used to get up for his night feedings and then went back to sleep.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Picture of my son- Siddhant

Isn't he really cute. He is wearing his "Papa's" topi :)

First Time Mom Talking!

A first time mom, exhausted? Sure i am!
Siddhant is now 5.5 months and i am slowly getting into the grips of motherhood. Learning everyday on how i can be a better mom, at the same time telling myself that my mothering skills are unique, irrespective of how other mothers keep talking of their own mothering skills.

Everyone has told me while i was pregnant, that having a child is a tough job. But at that time i wanted to hear, "oh nice, its going to be a lot of fun". Instead i used to keep telling them " I am going to have fun and i am ready for it". Decided that, when i see another pregnant lady, i will always tell her, "have fun now and you are surely going to have more fun later! Just that the definition of fun will be different after a child"

And now being a mother, the first 3 months was EXHAUSTING. If not for my mother (Geeta) and my husband (Rutvik), i would not have been a sane human being. Nursing him every 2 hours with sleepless nights, which makes you have a hangover feeling through out the following day and days....oooooo. Hard to really describe it in words. Every mom who reads this will surely understand.

And now, its FUN, beleive me, i feel like a mother now, feel i really have a son now. I know he knows that i am his caregiver (dont know yet if he knows i am his mother until he calls me one). The reality has sunk in and its an absolutely wonderful feeling.

There is one thing i learn everyday, patience and how to be more patient :). Which i did have in me. But i think, this motherhood stuff has a whole different patience ball game to it. I have to keep relearning it everyday.