Tuesday, December 04, 2012

The Year 2012- Introspection as a Mother

Nobody says being a mother is easy and yes I am saying it too. I just read a friend's blog and her ramblings as a mother and I think, gosh I do think the same and felt the same and try to do the same.

I have boys who are now 8 and 6.5 yrs of age. All these years apart from giving them good food, routines, times and trying to be with them, there are challenges that I face everyday.

The challenges are a race against their pace and games. Every morning I wake up and see them sleeping in bed. I dont want to wake them up and at night, it is so peaceful to see them sleeping so snug.

Being a mother is such an emotional roller coaster. There are things that I dont want to see myself doing and there are things I am want to give myself a pat for. But guess what comes in between. TIME!.
Its now time to put my work and thoughts into action.

1. Work on calming myself down when I see a chaotic house. I have been working on learning to enjoy the moments when they are back in school. They run, then laugh, they throw things around and they just want to lift their legs and lie down. I have started putting this into action the past few months. But I can get better. I have let gone if they throw things around, go around and pick them up, but tell them firmly once in a while do clean up and so on and so forth.. So as always it does get to me sometimes..

2. I emphasize that we have to be kind and gentle and not to hurt anyone. I preach a lot of this to them, but I need to practice this with them as well. Show them what is gentle and what it is to be kind instead of reacting in angry mommy ways. This will require patience and time, and again as I said, I think even the children are racing against time. I want life to  to slow down. Life is not a race, we have to enjoy it, sit back, think, be calm and relaxed. I want my children to learn to live this kind of life. For that I need to slow the pace. Lead the path for them. Time to get into action into being a good calm and gentle mother.

3. Sibling rivalry - battling this everyday. Working on them to make them understand that they are brothers and have to help each other and respect each other. But ummm ummm. Its a job that I have been entitled to do for the rest of my life. And half the time, this is what gets me into an un-calm and not so gentle state.

4. I have a two boys who are diametrically opposite each other. Each of them have different needs. Dealing with each one of their needs is next to impossible, trying to let go means not paying attention to one of them. Not paying attention leads to hyper ventilating emotions and behavior, phew... I have been torn.
What I plan to do to fix this..

Work on explaining to them..(which I have been doing) that both are my best, but I need time to work on each one of you one at a time. It has been working only sometimes, as most of them time, my attention has to be given together at the same time. One sings a song, I HAVE to listen and the other asks a questions I HAVE to answer. yes we tell them, one by one.. but....torn as I am.. into the life of motherhood, trying to keep pace with their demands.

And guess what is the most difficult, staying calm and patient. As I write, i think why am I in a hurry, I just have two to handle and not a whole class.
I know why.. as each task with each one of them takes eon years to complete or do and end up in fights. Hmmm....

Should I let it pass...May be not. How I am going to handle the undivided time that i can give both of them?

May be I can tell them we will sit an talk together from 8:15 PM for about half hour all that they want. That time is free time and yes not time bound to finish other acts like playing with friends or studying.
Infact I had started this, before going to bed we used to sit in the balcony and chat, but along the way, it died. I must start this again a a routine like brushing teeth. I must I must, this really worked.

Wow.. yes I will....The Super natural Power out there, please help me do so.

I will let the pats on my back pass as I have miles to go.. 
Knowing that such changes dont happen over night in children and not even me, I am going to give myself until next year to get this act of mine together.

- Mission Calm and Gentle Mother Time
- Take a step back, and teach children to live life
- Life is not a race, learn to step back and teach them to put their legs up to relax and kick their shoes away
- I know for this race to slow down, I have to move closer to school. This is on highest priority.


Unknown said...

Its a beautiful thought Archana. :) Good Luck to you.

Sirisha said...

Wow! Good Post!
Its a never ending learning process motherhood, I have just started :)
Best of luck to you.

Jandy said...

You've just put down what we all go through, Archana. And the best part is that each of us learns to handle it best. And our kids grow like flowers in the sunshine, no matter how we handle them. Kudos on a good post!

Aparna said...

Mommyhood in a nutshell indeed Archana, so many questions, so many doubts, yet we all just do our best and hope it works ;).

Loved the end-of-the-day talk idea, along with your no gadget idea in the previous post, I have a lot of stuff to try out :) !

Life Begins said...

What a lovely posts and thoughts you have. Good Luck to each and every mother :)

Can I have your permission to copy the last points and post them on my blog as a reminder for myself and all mothers?

Archana Doshi said...

Thanks everyone... you know once in a while when I start stating facts on what I have been, It tends to reinforce all the things I need to remember so I can be a friend to my children and not a moron shouting mom. So these few days have been going great, now with all of you on board I am keeping watch

Archana Doshi said...

Hey life, you sure can copy :)

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