Sunday, February 08, 2009

Over Active Brothers

Ever heard of a case where two brother - little boys aged 4.5yrs and 3yrs go crazy just screaming lunatically and running and falling and jumping over each other. My boys do, in places where I would not like them to do.

Over this weekend to an electronic shop to look for a home theatre, while we were listening to music, they almost turned the place into a dance floor for hooligans. A nice lounge chair was turned into a dirty shoe marked chair. R and I were just tied in constantly taking turns to stop them for behaving like this and distracting them to watch some TV, which seems so non sensical.

Then we were off to a store to look for window blinds. Wow, they were way to excited to run between the drapes and crevices of the shop and not to mention to make sure they leave their marks on the carpets as well!!!!!

How much more can a more organized mom get in trying to use positive reinforcement to discipline the child. My brother truely suggests wacking them and getting them straights. But really, I have gone to the extent of loosing my sanity in screaming and wacking them with ofcourse no respite!!!

Knowing now that, no screaming and wacking can work, Again the one thing that has successed is the bad old GEMS, give them 1 piece and that does not stop them these days either.

Even ONE GEM, can make their behaviour full of energy and creativity and hooliganism :). Like sucking on the gem noticing that its color changes to white then brown. With each color change, they scream and have fun.

Inside a restaurant, when mom and dad are talking, in a meeting and when I am on the phone. Unbelievable, that they find that its fun for them to behave when like this to get my attention.

I am trying to understand, still, am I supposed to enjoy and cherish such behaviour as well!! They are simply having fun, but to the thrid person, its destroying and creating havoc to their property! What am I suppoed to do, I need help.

- A Desparate MOM


Vibaas said...

Hi Archana, First time in this blog. I have two boys as well and they both are quite intense too. I haven't read all your posts yet and maybe you have tried it already, but thought of suggesting the book Happiest toddler in the block. Also, has some good suggestions to deal with high need children. I understand that they can drain us, but the they are usually very intelligent :)

I read a lot about intense children and at one point i even thought my first kid had ADHD, but then i found that gifted children are usually very intense too and lot of the charecteristics of a gifted children suited my son and reading that information gave me some peace.

Archana Doshi said...

Hi Vibaas, i completely agree with you and yes have read it all, have all the books and just like you have thought about ADHD as well, not they dont. I also agree that they are way intelligent than we can imagine them to be. Yes really as you said, it does feel good to understand they will be a gift to the world :), but really, what do I do now. I guess just let them be? And take a back seat! Yea? Tell me what you have tried, would love to hear

Anonymous said...


have u tried time out? though the modern parenting wont call for punishments i think it is a part of the deal . i have 2 kids just one yr apart. for them time out works pretty well even then they are not ready to obey a pinch will do..
good luck..

Bindu said...

Hi Archana - just visited your blog...quite intense! But what you go through with two is almost the same with one, just that i think the embarassment is double..:) One thing that we do is warning him of bad behaviour in public places. Ground rules help before even stepping out of the house. I haven't read books on parenting - don't think its rocket science...a little bit of patience and remembering how we were as a kids helps in calming down - not to say that I am saint :D

Anonymous said...

Hi Archana,

My son is two now and drives me nuts sometimes. Even a simple thing like getting into the car seat is a daily battle. Especially at the end of the day when I am especially drained, I just lose it sometimes and yell at him, but I end up feeling bad when I look at his small face.

So I usually try distracting him, I keep a few toys and books he hasnt seen for a while and it works most of the times. I know that Vishnu needs constant activity, he gets bored and starts acting up if he is not engaged. (Psst I tried TV and it doesnt work. He just wont watch for more than 15 min on his own.There's no point if I have to sit with hime to watch. So, I stopped pushing him. Thats my guilty secret). Anyway since your boys are older, feel free to pass on a few tips for the terrible twos.
I am glad I found this bolg, we can keep in touch now.

Anonymous said...

I found your post on "Over Active Brothers" interesting and can empathize with how difficult those situations can be. I find it definitely more of challenge having two children out together, on their own they can be like completely different children!! Its when they are together they seem to spur on another on to be more and more over excited.