Friday, July 21, 2006

Children have simple, absorbing and adjusting minds at work and how are we parents responsible in shaping their minds

We parents try to make the lives of our children so complicated. Here is the story of my older son Siddhant.

Went to India on October 2005 and back on Jan 2006, this little kid adjusted to sleep in the noise and portable crib we had taken for him. Adjusted to the new people with little starnger anxiety, with parents and grandparents help started overcoming that fear. Then after 3 months of long stay in India, he was back to his home in Boston and adjusted. No comlications and questions, as long as everything was explained to him to his liking.

Then pranav was born! Siddhant had just turned 18 months. Though he was in his own world, he cooperated well with his parents and helped all of us into adjusting with the new baby. One month later, we shifted him into a twin bed , saying "new new bed". He was so excited, that he accepted that move from his crib to the twin bed. We were surprised, we thought we would have to do a lot of cajoling to do, but nothing.

So many changes and no questions asked. Such an uncomplicated mind he has. The thought that we parents are the only people he has to hold and come to and absorb the things we ask him to....is simply an amazing mind at work. We are his security and thats all he needs and once that is assured he is happy.

I have slowly begun to appreciate this childs mind and this has helped me control my emotions of anger and irritation. I do mean controling my mind and undertstand how difficult it is to control our own minds. In this process i am trying to channel my childs mind unconciously with my thoughts. Fears arise in me sometimes, shaping of this tiny little mind of the child is in my hands. Fears arise what are the consequences of my negative emotions on my child.

I am dealing with those fears and emotions myself and am trying to see how i can teach the same to him, this way i am controlling my own emotions and accepting them as normal and also teaching my child what emotions are. I hope this kind of emotional management is going to help the family in the long run and also help my children in a path towards emotional security and independence.

1 comment:

Purnima said...

Hi Archana, first timer here! U hv lovely blogs-food n parenting as well..my kids too of Siddhant's n Pranav's age. I totally agree with you on how we try to teach them, how we get to learn so many things frm them. They make our life stress-free and we shd just co-operate rather than getting worked up over tiny matters as u mentioned!! Tks for sharing ur parenting experience n tips too!
The other post where u started being affirmative. I went thru the same phase too, saying no, feeling guilty at the kids expression of hw cd I? Then bringing in distractions when both fight over one thing or more positive approach- it has changed things..both fight once daily, but its not mahabharata anymore! :D Take care..do post in this space when time permits..makes up for brain food! Bye for now!